Replay Life
For old time's sake, I played Life with my sister on New Year's Eve. Thought it might be fun to gamble on an old classic as we welcomed in a new decade. I had fond Life memories; sitting around the dinner table with my family, my sister in long pigtails, my brother wearing a t-shirt and a grin, and I perched on my knees in the swivel chair sporting a black leotard and jeans, we advanced though the different stages of Life—school, marriage, babies, insurance, and retirement—with my mom typically winning at the very end as she dumped all her earnings and belongings on one number and betting she would hit that number with a quick twist of the white spinner nob. However, as I opened the box, I was much dismayed to find that I had a newer version of Life. Damn you Life!
Replay Life
I found this remake to be even less realistic than the one I was once so familiar with. In the version of Life I remember, not too many people retired in Millionaire Estates. In the end, there was one person who made a lot of money because he/she took risks and it paid off. For the rest of us, we had one shot for redemption—place all your life's worth on a game of chance. Pick a number from one through ten, spin the crappy wheel that gets ****ing stuck and doesn't complete a spin so you have to get olive oil and generously baste the spindle so the next time around you spin, the entire number wheel flies off the damn board and you try for a third time, but this time, you've given up caring and you limp wrist the spinner and you land on a four. CRAP! I bet everything on eight! That's when the board flips over by "accident" and the little convertible cars and blue babies go scattering and the money is dispersed and no one has the advantage any more. Go suck it, Life. Unless, like I mentioned earlier, you're my mom and she spins it once and it magically ticks, ticks, ticks, to her number and she wins and says something like, "Oooh, I can't believe that just happened!"
I don't recall winning this game very often because I'm risk adverse, but hate to lose, so my mood would sour quickly as I began losing, which would then cause me to stop caring. But, I would never cheat; I would just make the game so unpleasant for everyone else that they couldn't feel good about their win. Victory is mine in the end!
But the Life I nostalgically played with my sister on New Year's was quite different. I won! It wasn't a satisfying win, though. It was too easy. There were these things called Life Cards that you picked up each time you landed on a square that signified a great event in your life, like having a child or recycling your newspapers. At the end of the journey, my Life Cards added up to an astonishing $900K so that I retired with $2.8M! My sister with her measly $2.4M couldn't even compete, and I became President, made a music video, wrote a best-selling novel, created a masterpiece painting, cured cancer, and achieved some other noteworthy successes that I can't remember. I thought, "Holy shit, it's that easy? This isn't fun."
Is it weird that I would equate easiness with boredom? I guess in the end, I would rather lose than to move ahead on cheap tricks and luck. Retiring in millionaire estates wouldn't seem so satisfying if I knew the only difference between me being a winner and a loser is luck and odds. Although, some might say that gambling and taking risks in life should give you the advantage because you're more willing to leap off an edge than cautiously repel down, minding your equipment and safety as you go. The cliff jumper who makes it has a head start and ultimately the advantage if the goal was to make it down the mountain quickest and receive cash and a cable T.V. reality show. Shouldn't that person get the just reward for being ballsy versus being smart and industrious?
I guess that's where the Game of Life and real life intersect. Those who are more willing to take risks in Life/life are more likely to be rewarded if those risks turn out for the best. All the rest of us suckers who believe hard work and elbow grease (or olive oil) will move us ahead are sadly mistaken. But, just like in the Game of Life, for me, I prefer not to advance on pure luck, and thus, I'll never retire in Millionaire Estates. (Sigh.)